Meaningful ways to honor and remember loved ones during the holiday season:
In my last post, I wrote about grief during the holidays. I wanted to write a follow up post on ways that we can honor and remember our loved ones. Memorialization is one of the most important aspects to remembering our loved ones (assuming you want to remember them. I understand that we might lose someone in our life that might not lead to wanting to remember, or to honor etc., and that is okay!). The death industry has changed over the years, and we are constantly evolving our practices. Not too long ago, we would place our dead loved one in the front room of the home, and many people would come in and out to pay their respects, say good-bye. That doesn’t happen as much today. Often, when a loved one dies, we are not always in the same location. There might be plots already purchased out of state, or remains are scattered, or you live out of state from your loved one. The good news, there are ways that we can still memorialize and feel close to those we lost, even if we are far away.
Creating a memorial or tribute
Memory ornaments: craft or purchase ornaments that symbolize your loved one. These can be adorned with their name, photo, or something that represents their personality or interests.
Memory table: set up a special table displaying photos, candles, or items that remind you of them. Encourage family members to add to it, creating a collective tribute. Before the day is over, be sure to take photos of these tables so that you can share with family, and you can remember for years to come.
incorporate favorites into traditions
Cook their favorite dish! Prepare and share a meal that your loved one enjoyed during the holidays. This act can evoke fond memories and celebrate their presence. In my family, every Christmas morning, we make curried fruit. Sounds weird, I know, and it is a little bit weird. The taste that is, not the tradition. It brings back memories of my Nana, and being close during the holidays.
Play their favorite music, or watch their favorite holiday movie. You could create a playlist of their favorite tunes to play while you eat, or during prep. Movies can be great too. Were they into classic films, or the comedy films? Home movies are also a great way to remember. If your family is like mine, where they kept everything, finding those home movie gems can be a lot of fun. My mom’s parents documented so much of their life on film. I remember one year, my mom pulled out an OLD video of my Nana and Pappap at a holiday party. This must have been in the 50s? My Nana and her friends were dressed up in flapper dresses and dancing in a chorus line. It was so funny, and heartwarming at the same time.
Volunteer or donate in their name
Donate to Their Preferred Charity: Support a cause that held significance for your loved one. It could be a charity, shelter, or organization they supported.
Volunteer Together: Spend time volunteering at a local charity or community organization in memory of your loved one. Helping others can be a powerful way to honor their legacy.
Share stories and memories
Create a Memory Jar or Book: Encourage family and friends to write down memories, stories, or messages about your loved one. Compile these in a jar or book to revisit during the holidays.
Designate Storytelling Time: Set aside a specific time during your holiday gathering to share anecdotes and memories of your loved one. This can be comforting and fosters a sense of connection.
You never know, you might learn something new about your loved one from others sharing stories and memories.
Light a candle or perform a ritual
This doesn’t have to be anything fancy or formal. It can include your family and friends, or it can be just for you. This can be as simple and lighting a candle in remembrance of your loved one during a meal, or you can have a special ceremony. Maybe creating a new ritual is more appealing to you? This could be writing notes and putting them into a jar, planting a tree, or just dedicating a moment of silence.
Visit their special place
Maybe you are close to their graveside, or final resting place, where you can bring flowers, mementos, or holiday decorations. Perhaps they had favorite spot, like a park, beach, or location. Visiting these places can help create a sense of closeness to your loved one.
Keeping their legacy alive
Continue on with holiday customs or traditions (curried fruit, even though it does taste a little weird). Compile those old photos and videos, or take those digital photos and make an album.
Remember, the goal is to find meaningful ways that resonate with you and your family in remembering your loved one during the holidays. These gestures can bring comfort and create a sense of connection amidst the absence of your loved one. There is no right or wrong way, and no one can tell you how to remember your loved one. Everyone’s experience is unique and so will their coping.
If you have anything you want to share, please feel free to comment. We are here to provide support. This can be a tough time of year for many, but you don’t have to do it alone.
