Navigating Loss: Coping with grief during the holiday season
The holiday season is often associated with joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for those coping with the loss of a loved one, this time of year can amplify feelings of grief and loneliness. I hope that this post will help navigate the complexities of grief during the holidays, and explore some strategies and approaches to help cope.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s essential to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a range of emotions during this time. Allow yourself to feel sadness, anger, or whatever emotions arise without judgement. This can be really difficult for a lot of us. We often find ourselves judging what is the proper, or most accepted emotion to have in any given time. Do you laugh when you are angry? Or cry when you are so happy? Do you shut down, and shut everyone out?
Once you can be comfortable with your feelings, it is important to create space. Create the space for your grief. This will look different for everyone, and there is no right or wrong way to do this. Perhaps this looks like taking a walk solo, and just letting those emotions flow through. Maybe it is getting together with a friend, or family member to just talk through your feelings. Or, perhaps it is just spending time with those you care about and creating that space to just be. Something that I think is important to remember is that you don’t have to go through this alone.
Seeking support
Being able to communicate your needs is so incredibly important. This goes for everything from relationships with your family, to your partner and your friends. Most people are not mind readers. You might have someone in your life that can read you like a book, and that is great. What about the times when you are not around that person? Are you able to feel confident and secure to express how you are feeling? This can be extremely challenging for some, because there might be judgement that goes a long expressing feelings. Being comfortable and able to express how you feel to your friends and family can be so beneficial, especially during this really difficult time. This might look like asking for a quiet celebration, or asking for some extra support.
Another important aspect of support seeking, is connecting with others. Engage with local support groups, counseling services, or trusted friends who not only understand your situation, but can empathize with your experience. We live in an age where resources are so readily available, I know you will be able to find something that fits with you.
Self-Care and compassion
This might be one of the most important points in this blog post. You will hear this time and time again, self-care is crucial, especially during periods of grief. Take time for activities that bring comfort and relaxation, such as reading, meditation, exercise, getting outside, or crafting (this last one is my favorite). Your self-care does not need to look like mine, nor anyone else’s. This is about you, and what makes you feel good.
I know this can be really difficult. You might be saying “how can I take care of myself when I am so (enter emotion here)?” You might also ask if it’s selfish to take care of yourself while others are also grieving. If there is one thing I have learned in working in the death care industry is that, if you can’t take care of yourself, how are you able to help and take care of others (note: other’s can be family, kids, parents, partners, and pets)? Understand that grieving during the holidays can be challenging. Practice self-compassion and allow yourself the grace to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.
remember
Dealing with the loss of a loved one during the holiday season is undoubtedly difficult. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to grieving. Finding ways to honor your feelings while also finding moments of joy can be a gradual process. By acknowledging your emotions, adjusting traditions, seeking support, and practicing self-care, you can navigate this challenging time with compassion and resilience.
Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if needed. Grieving is a unique journey for everyone, and your well-being is essential.
